英文一句话笑话精选

1、

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend.
"She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的 诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后 回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

2、我还以为那是我的手

Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine.
教授：天哪!有人偷了我的钱包! 妻子：你难道没 到一只手伸进你的口袋? 教授：感觉到了，可我还以为那是我的手呢?

3、他死了

If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die.
She refused him.
Sixty years later, he died.
如果你不答应嫁给我，他发誓，我就要去死。六十年后，他死了。

4、帮我爸爸做我的 作业

Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play? Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework.
基米：嘿，艾米，你不出来玩吗?艾米：不了，我必须留在家里，帮我爸爸做我的家庭作业。

5、我不敢想象

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
客人：“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”旅馆主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”

6、我不能说是哪一年

Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year.
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.手相大师：你手上的 线显示出你还有一年将会死去。顾客：天哪，一年后?手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。

7、给我那个打赢的

Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir.
It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then. 员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。

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